


and we'll just shoot for the stars

by Xmarksthespot



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Coda, Episode: s10e05 Fan Fiction, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-14
Updated: 2014-11-14
Packaged: 2018-02-25 08:22:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,321
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2614931
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Xmarksthespot/pseuds/Xmarksthespot
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean is about to leave during the show’s intermission when he sees Siobhan and Kristen outside, still in their stage clothes. Fake him is showing fake Cas the stars, and he thinks that could be them, one day, if only Dean knew anything about stars.</p>
            </blockquote>





	and we'll just shoot for the stars

They stop at three motels before they get back to the bunker, and at three motels, Dean thinks about the school play more than he should. It doesn’t help that the songs were as catchy as hell, especially that ‘Man Tear’ one, whatever that meant. He had to stop the radio a few times just so his brain could process the lyrics and hum the tune much to Sam’s amusement.

By the time they get to their home, they see that crappy car parked discretely on the side with a familiar angel waiting by the entrance and all Dean can think about is what he had seen right before he and Sam were about to leave Michigan.

Sam had held back briefly, something about wanting to give Maeve some theater tips, even if they were a few centuries old. Dean got to the car first, but not without seeing Siobhan and Kristen at the edge of the parking lot. He snorted; they were supposed to be inside helping Marie with the purple goop cleanup. Then again, it had gotten him remembering the time Sam had once tried getting Dean and Cas to clean up at Bobby’s, only for Dean to drag the angel out to the junk yard where they hid like five year olds.

Siobhan and Kristen were close to each other again, just linking one hand this time, and Dean would never get over the fact that they were still wearing replicas of his and Cas’s clothes while doing so. Kristen stared longingly at Siobhan who wasn’t even looking at her; the girl in the blonde wig was glancing up at the night sky, pointing at it with her free hand and saying something. Kristen nodded, even if she wasn’t looking where Siobhan was.

Dean looked up to where Siobhan was pointing, and all he could see is the dark sky he and Sam grew up under. Back at eye level, Kristen was finally paying attention to whatever Siobhan was saying, and it was like whatever words came out of her mouth, whatever Siobhan did, Kristen couldn’t help but smile. It was sweet, Dean had thought, the girls finding happiness like this.

It wasn’t until much later at the bunker that Dean realizes Siobhan was talking about the stars, that fake him was showing fake Cas the stars, teaching her everything she knew. He looks at the real Cas now, so entranced by Sam’s storytelling of their recent cases, including the one at the school. Cas’s skin crinkled in amusement as he laughed, and he makes remarks on the gospels that causes Dean’s skin crawl when he thinks about how people in the future will interpret him and Sam – or _him and Sam_ together.

Of course, Cas doesn’t notice the goose bumps on his arms. He’s too focused on Sam’s stories like Siobhan was with the stars. And Dean…

Dean’s staring as if he’s Kristen, which is odd because that’s definitely not the roles they should be playing. Dean should’ve been there to teach the guy how to be human, even if he was technically an angel again. He doesn’t even know who taught Cas how to drive, or how to do laundry or hell, even brush his teeth. He’d been so eager to show off his knowledge and wisdom to the slightly naïve angel when they had first met, that when it finally came down to it, he wasn’t even there. The only thing Dean has left to show Cas that he doesn’t already know is the stars, and what does Dean know about the stars anyway?

He groans inwardly, but his eyes never leave Cas. He’s following two high school students’ example of how to be happy, and he can’t even do it no matter how much he wants Cas to look at him like Kristen looks at Siobhan, or to hold hands without ever letting go, because he hadn’t seen a time when the two students were together and were _not_ holding hands unless they were on stage.

 _Probably because everything is fiction_ , he thinks before Cas’s voice cuts him off.

“Dean, are you okay?” Cas ponders out loud.

Dean grunts. “Just peachy.” There’s an odd look coming from Sam’s direction and now all Dean could think of is the constant whispering of Sam’s voice calling _Desteel_ or whatever the crap the fans came up with and so he adds: “Just thinking about the songs. They frigging came back and now I can’t get them out of my head.”

Sam nods in agreement with a light chuckle.

Cas, on the other hand, cocks his head to the side with a warm grin. “It is a shame I was not there to witness this. I would not have objected to hearing Dean sing on key for once, even if it had been an actress.”

“Shut up, my singing is amazing,” Dean retorts only to get laughter from the other two.

The continuous storytelling and beer sharing helps Dean a little, at least enough to keep him from thinking about the stars until nightfall when everyone decides to get a night’s rest—Cas especially needs it, considering he has to return back to his road trip companion, that female Dean heard about once, in the early morning. Dean doesn’t even want to think about that, that Cas is already leaving, so he heads outside and leans on the hood of his car, thinking maybe he can teach himself about the stars. At least until the next time Cas visits.

It’s sort of chilly, but not enough to deter him from the cold beer soothing his throat like a distant memory. At least the sky is clear tonight, but the longer Dean stares at it, the more none of it makes sense to him like they did with Siobhan. He snorts into his bottle; at least there’s one Dean out there who gets it right.

“Are you not going to bed?”

Cas’s voice doesn’t exactly startle him; he’s gotten used to Cas popping up behind him by now even if it’s becoming less frequent. Dean turns sees the trench coat he can’t help but scowl at; sure, it looks fine on Cas, but it isn’t the first one—it isn’t the one Dean fished from the lake and saved for Cas’s return.

Dean shakes his head. “Nah,” he murmurs. “Can’t sleep yet. I—I ah, wanted to watch the stars for a bit.”

The other man nods but there’s a look of curiosity in his eyes.

“Would you mind if I watch them with you, Dean?”

Dean waves his hand towards his car, shifting over so they could both lean onto the hood, before looking up again. In his peripheral, Cas is beside him, solemn but attentive, and he stares at the stars like he’s seeing millions of lanterns being lit up, entranced by their beauty, whereas all Dean sees is four dots and an airplane. Cas has always had this focus about him, the way he looks at life itself like he needed to memorize everything so he could paint a masterpiece, not like the other angels who looked at them and humanity like a ten year old brat getting a shiny new toy for Christmas.

He briefly wonders who taught Cas to shave, or if it’s all part of Cas’s ability to wield anything sharp. Maybe a distant memory from his time with Jimmy Novak. There’s only a hint of a stubble now, shorter than when they’d seen Cas last. He looks down, away from Cas’s face, and back at that stupid trench coat again—he doesn’t even know where Cas got it from—if he went to the store and bought one with money he earned from a job Dean didn’t help him get.

Again—like always, _every time_ —Cas’s voice cuts his train of thought. Dean looks up, and for a brief moment he realizes he had supposed to stare at the sky, not at Cas again.

“Dean.”

“Yeah?” Dean’s voice is hitched at his throat and he has to clear it.

“You have been staring at me all day,” Castiel notes, and all Dean can think is _just like Kristen to Siobhan_. “Is there something wrong?”

It’s all a blur, but Dean doesn’t realize he’s said it until his voice rings in his ears: “I don’t know anything about stars,” he had said all in a rush.

Cas’s brows furrow, and it’s been a long time since Dean’s seen that confused face of his. It hits him then that even when it comes to pop culture, _Dean_ wasn’t even the one who taught Cas all that. The guy got mojo’d by Metatron, and now Dean can’t ever make him confused by referencing a movie or show. It’s not that he enjoys Cas being confused, but he hates that it’s not thanks to him.

“I do not understand,” comes out of Cas.

Dean gulps, wishing he still has beer left to wash away the lump in his throat, but the bottle’s been empty for a while. Finally, he takes a deep breath.

“I don’t know about the stars, okay?” His voice is low, quiet like he’s worried Cas will hear its worth. “I don’t know their names or—or how far they are from here or what they do. And you’re here and I’m supposed to teach you these things. M’supposed to teach you how to be human—how to be happy—but shit keeps happening and I can’t. I can’t teach you anything I was supposed to and now all there’s left are things I don’t know about. I’m sorry, Cas, but I don’t know anything about stars.”

Finally, he looks up from their boots, at Cas who stares at him fervently and questioningly as if he’s still processing Dean’s words. He blinks a few times, before nodding once.

Dean doesn’t understand, but the angel gently takes the empty bottle from his hand, placing both his and Dean’s bottles on the pavement next to the car tire before straightening himself and staring at Dean again.

“Are you done?” Cas asks calmly.

It’s not the first thing Dean had expected Cas to say, especially after the mess of dialogue that came out of his mouth not even Marie would add to her fan fiction. He nods.

“Yeah,” he says and once more for good measure, “yeah, I’m done.”

Suddenly, Cas reaches out for Dean’s arm, hovering over it until Dean consents and lifts his hand to fit into Cas’s. It’s strange, Dean thinks. Warm and slightly calloused, like a hunter in the works; Cas’s thumb runs back and forth along Dean’s rough skin.

“Dean, everything I have learned about Earth—about being human and humanity itself—I learned from you, long before I had fallen after Metatron’s betrayal.”

“But—”

“Let me finish,” Cas interrupts. He gives Dean a stern look, and it’s enough to shut him up. The man looks back down at their adjoining hands, twisting Dean’s so that both of Cas’s were holding it facing up, looking at the lines on Dean’s palm like he recognizes each individual atom, like he could use it to map the universe with what little grace he has left.

“It was never your responsibility to teach me anything, Dean. I am thankful for everything you have done, but you should never have to feel responsible for anything more than you already are.

“That said, you have taught me more than you believe you have. The little things, yes, some I may have picked up on from my time away, but…you should know by now that I’m quite observant. Many of the things I learned from my time as a human had been based on what I picked up from you.” Cas smiles as he reminisces. “I can buy a drink at a bar and live the life of a hunter. After so many months—years— on the road with you and Sam, I gained the basic knowledge of how to drive or go through proper hygiene regimens.

“More importantly so, you have taught me about friendship, Dean. The importance of family, of individual lives. You have…introduced me to the concept of emotions—of feelings I had never been capable of feeling, and in spite of everything that has happened I believe wholeheartedly that what I am feeling most of the time when I am with you and Sam is happiness,” Cas pauses before adding: “Especially with you.”

Dean stares at Cas, voice still struggling to find itself in the ocean of barely recognizable bliss. He thinks this is what Siobhan and Kristen must look like when they stare at each other. The way he and Cas are right now. The only thing missing was the way their hands were positioned; Cas is still holding his like it’s some precious hundred year old relic. Dean laughs, and folds his hand in so that they clasp with Cas’s.

“Okay,” he finally says and Cas smiles brightly.

They stand in silence, hands still clasping onto each other, and Dean thinks this is maybe why people hold hands. The warmth. The calmness that spreads from the tips of Cas's fingers to his, radiating through his entire body. This is probably why Kristen and Siobhan always held hands. 

“Dean?”

He turns to face Cas, his grin having never left his face.

“Yeah?”

Cas looks back up at the dark sky, but Dean doesn’t fail to notice the way the man shifts closer to him. He grins and moves closer towards Cas too.

“I know about the stars,” Cas tells him.

Dean’s eyes widen, though when he thinks about it, yeah maybe he should’ve known that about Cas. It would be something the guy knows, being a gajillion years old and all.

“You know about the stars,” Dean repeats. “So you can teach me.”

Cas’s grin widens.

“I can teach you.”


End file.
